Wedding planning anxiety? Here’s how to take advantage of the situation Part 1

by wedding planner & photographer Thysiamore Original

Wedding planning activities always come with mixed feelings—nervousness, excitement, stress, hope, unexpected realities, and so on. These are natural feelings you have when embarking on something new and unknown when looking to the future. We must understand that wedding planning comes with lots of stress, regardless of whether you have a wedding planner or not, especially if you are a perfectionist. Having a wedding planner takes a lot of the weight off you, but the weight of decision-making can sometimes be equated to calling over 20 vendors or more to enquire and make sure they are ready to deliver for your big day.

According to experts, you can tell when stress and anxiety have changed from being healthy butterflies to something harmful when they start to interfere with your daily activities. Poor sleep, arguments with your partner, having a short fuse, drinking or eating more, skin rashes, and feeling unable to make judgments are warning indications that you have reached this stage. When you’re getting ready to host a wedding, it is not what you want. 

Wedding experts maintain that the internet and social media have altered the culture. They refer to it as a two-edged sword. On the one hand, couples now have a wide range of materials and useful websites. On the other hand, social media comes with a lot of pressure to live up to the standards you see on your Instagram feed, especially if you’re on a tight budget. According to them, this is a major source of stress for couples.

Planning a wedding may be difficult and stressful by nature, which may have an impact on your relationship with your partner, family, and friends. But at the end of the day, it should be a joyful occasion to honor the love you and your spouse have for one another. Wedding professionals and therapists provide some tips on how to keep that in mind while dealing with stress.

Wedding planning anxiety? Here’s how to take advantage of the situation:

#1 Prepare a Realistic Budget:

The lovely flowers hanging from the ceiling and the personalized glassware you see on Instagram may all run into hundreds of dollars. Although you would believe it, you cannot achieve the Toya Johnson look for $15,000. An expert says that the issue is not knowing what items really cost. For instance, buying fresh flowers can cost far more than most people think. Because of this, they suggest that the budget be worked out before anything else. “Sit down and figure out what your wedding’s aesthetic and vision are, as well as what a reasonable budget is.” If necessary, a planner can assist you in determining where you can make cuts.

Check out: How to create your wedding budget for your wedding in 2023.

Another big part of the budget might go into food, as we know we Africans prioritize food a lot at our parties, with the high emergence of food caterers and menu creators these days, it is almost impossible to have a bad food day at your wedding, not unless you are giving your aunties, who have little or no experience in food services to handle your wedding dishes.

According to experts, an effective technique for prioritizing involves having each member of the couple list the aspects of planning their wedding that are most important to them, such as the flowers, food, wedding gown, photographer, venue, etc. Compromises and agreements will need to be achieved in any instances where the elements don’t line up. Experts suggest that couples give themselves nine months to a year to plan and begin with the “big ticket items” first, which he says are the location, photographer, flowers, and meal. After you’ve reserved and assigned a price to those higher-priced products, they say, “all else will fall into place.”

Experts also emphasize the need to spend money on items that make you happy rather than items you feel you “should” own. A  couple, for instance, opted to serve apple pie at their wedding rather than cake since they adore the sweet treat. Why spend cash on something you don’t like? “Create something that expresses your uniqueness,” they say. 

 A wedding should reflect the couple’s ideals and unique personalities. Give yourself room to personalize it where you can. A wedding or commitment ceremony can look many different ways.

Check out: why mood boards are important for planning your wedding

Wedding planning anxiety? Here’s how to take advantage of the situation:

#2 Don’t strive for perfection and always have a backup plan

Nobody is flawless, and weddings are no exception. Experts concur that perfection is unachievable. It’s also not necessary. Remember that your visitors aren’t paying nearly as much attention to the details as you are, and that good enough is good enough.

Therefore, when organizing your wedding, try to avoid worrying about the little things. The nature of living and life dictates that things will go wrong, therefore having a plan B handy will give you peace of mind if/or things don’t go as planned.

Take everything a bit less seriously. It’s simple to get sucked into the idea that we must capture the “ideal image” of a day or an event to share on social media. While in actuality, a “perfect image” is one that brings back the emotions you were experiencing at the time, including the love and joy you shared with those around you.

This includes putting less emphasis on people’s nutritional demands and preferences because you can’t please everyone and you shouldn’t try. To be safe, experts advise having meat, fish, and vegan choices available, but beyond that, they advise concentrating on what you enjoy and what fits within your price range.

Since anyone who is a picky or less adventurous eater will still be able to enjoy dinner later, experts advise those who want to be experimental with their menu and offer unique dishes to do it during the cocktail hour.

Wedding planning anxiety? Here’s how to take advantage of the situation:

#3. Social media should be used with caution.

While Instagram and Pinterest are good resources for ideas, they may sometimes be deceptive. “They make it look so simple and available, as though anyone might have that. Too much reliance on social media has led to weddings that are “carbon copies.”

Living up to social, cultural, and aesthetic expectations as well as social media standards can be very stressful. I urge you to identify your basic beliefs and to distinguish them from any values that have been ingrained in you—whether by society or another source—but with which you no longer agree. In other words, make an effort to relinquish the demands of social media. It’s for you, your spouse, and your loved ones that you get married. It isn’t for your supporters.

Wedding planning anxiety? Here’s how to take advantage of the situation:

#4 Easily manage the family

The dynamic between the couple and their family members is sometimes one of the largest sources of stress during the wedding planning process. Further complicating matters is the fact that family members are footing the bill for the wedding. For a variety of reasons, unwanted counsel and influence from in-laws and other close relatives can cause emotional strain on everyone concerned.

A couple may feel stressed when they witness family dynamics like this because everyone has a different relationship with their parents and other family members. You could find it difficult to watch your fiancé deal with a mother’s hostile tone or out-of-control boundaries. It might be stressful to see your partner deal with family issues.

Respecting the family bond while avoiding being harassed is crucial. A wedding planner may be useful in this particular situation, according to experts. In order to serve as a mediator and an advocate for the couple, it is claimed that early on in the process, he or she gets to know the parents and other family members involved. His approach is to first hear and respect the family’s viewpoint. Then, if it just doesn’t fit the couple’s preferences or what is practical for the occasion, he explains why in a nice and encouraging way, such as “That would be fantastic if the circumstance were this way, but because it’s not, that alternative won’t work.”

check out part 2 of this post below:

We hope these tips help you. Please tell us how it has been of help to you in the comments section below.  You can share it with a friend or family member who is having their wedding ceremony in Cotonou soon.

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